Why People Are Sexually Confused?
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This hub is for the purpose of debate and education. By no means am I trying to ostracise any one. What people do in their personal lives is their business but I feel that this topic must be debated on. I invite people of all sexual identities to give their opinions in the comments below.
Heterosexual Versus Homosexual
Whether 2 people in a relationship are heterosexual or homosexual, observe one thing... Homosexuals always behave like heterosexuals in a relationship.
Gay Men & Lesbian Women
A gay relationship will consist of one man who is 'manly' and another man who acts 'womanly'. In the same manner, in a lesbian relationship, you will see that one woman will be very 'girly' while the other will cut her hair short and dress like a boy.
So in all truth, I think it is fair to say the people who are homosexuals, have for some reason a problem with their identity or their gender. This may either be a product of their environment or a belief which makes them think that since 'same sexes understand each other or behave similarly' then it would be okay to choose a same sex to be a partner.
However, I question one thing, why is it then that these homosexual people behave like heterosexuals in a relationship?
Transgender Issues & Bisexual People
Now coming to Transgender people...
1. Biologically Transgender
Biologically, such people are known as Eunuchs. Now in every society eunuchs have had their own place. Some societies consider them tabboo or mystical and try to either not cross paths with them, or if they do than to try to never cross a Eunuch as to a belief that a curse from Eunuchs can ruin their lives. (This is a dominant thought in Asia). Eunuchs would be considered as Sexually infertile and there by not a threat to any woman, so were mostly kept as guardians of young girls. These Eunuchs would dress as women so as to be not widely ostracised or stigmatised by society. Their dominant features include being very tall and skinny, having facial hair, enlarged mammary glands and dysfunctional reproductive male organ.
It must be understood that Eunuchs are born this way. (A normal boy has XY chromosomes, X gives feminine characteristics and Y give Masculine characteristics. A normal girl has XX chromosomes, therefore being completely womanly. A Eunuch may have XXY or XYY chromosomes, based on which they either appear to be more feminine or more masculine, without actually belonging to any gender.) The ability for a child's sex to be male or female depends completely on the father's sperm. Only men have XY chromosome while women only possess XX chromosome. If the father's X chromosome joins with the mother's X chromosome, it will be a girl. If a father's Y chromosome joins a mother's X chromosome, it will be a boy.
Exact reasons for the birth of a Eunuch are unknown, however it is believed that due to the inability for the cell to turn into twins, or improper division or complete coincidence, causes this incident.
2. Bisexual People
These are perfectly natural men and women, who for some complex psychological reason, decide to experiment with their sexuality. They are confused generally and are known to be unable to have a single relationship and switch back and forth between men and women. They seem to enjoy targeting heterosexual people and then converting them to being either homosexual or bisexual.
3. Artificially Transgender
These are people who were born naturally as either a man or a woman and due to complex sexual orientation or confused sexual identity choose to modify their bodies and change their sex. It must be noted that even after these people go under surgery and successfully give the illusion to be either a man or a woman, they remain infertile.
Now it can very well be argued that these artificially transgender people are actually gay or lesbian and for the fear of public stigmatisation, actually change their sex. Complex psychological issues are mainly the reason for such a permanent surgery to be pursued by any one.
4. Tomboys Versus Cross Dressers
The issue of tomboys and cross dressers is not a recent one, but of centuries old. The way it plays out is simple. Children mirror their immediate environment at all times. This means that a girl who is surrounded by male members of her family or by males in general and have no leading female member, will generally behave and dress like a boy because she does not see herself as a girl. She sees herself as part of the gang. Just because a girl is a tomboy, it does not mean she is a lesbian. Most girls grow out of this phase when they are placed with other females because they realise their attraction to men and they consider girls to be petty and annoying.
Same scenario plays out for a cross Dresser. A boy, living in a family filled with women and having no dominant male member, will consider it okay to wear make up or walk around in high heels as a child. It is the job of the mother or guardian to ensure that the boy is influenced by some men as to behave masculine. The chances of Cross dressing boys to turn gay are higher because as children every one thinks that their habits are cute and no one really disapproves. They observe how women are treated kindly and with respect on most occasions. They idolise feminity and when they are eventually left with other boys, they can either feel too intimidated or feel part of the gang.
HeteroSexuality - Order Of God
God created man and woman for a reason.
If homosexuality was okay, then Adam would not have Eve for a partner.
HeteroSexuality - Medically Proven
The human body proves it.
I need not go into the details of it but if homosexuality was okay then why is it that gay men and lesbian women resort to having intercourse in the same manner as heterosexual couples?
Homosexuality and intercourse with whatever or whoever are the basic reasons for widespread AIDS and other STDs.
HeteroSexuality - Purpose of Marriage
The purpose of marriage along with providing a man or a woman with a life long partner actually as an institution quintessentially is to reproduce. Only when a man and woman unite can they give birth to a child and by this I mean in the natural way, not by sperm donation or test tube babies or surrogate mothers or adoption etc.
By making the above statement, I do not claim that a childless husband and wife, are any less of a couple. Men and women fit like a glove to a hand.
Our Children Are Vulnerable To The Flaws Of Our Society
This debate is a long one but truth be told, because of so much free speech and freedom, 2 boys who might be best buddies... may actually begin to believe that they are homosexual and attracted to one another when in truth, it is only an innocent friendship.
Today if a mother sees her son hanging out with boys all the time or her daughter hanging out with girls all the time, she actually feels worried. Society, itself has reduced everything to sex so much that one feels like the day your child goes to kindergarden and tells you, they made a friend or friends you might as well believe they will have sex with them.
Isn't any thing sacred any more?
We live in a society without ethics, morals or beliefs.
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Thank you for your comment, diogenes.
See a child gets half of its features from the mother and half from the father.
A person (Man or woman have 42 chromosomes i.e. structure of DNA), a child gets 26 from father and 26 from mother.
To avoid confusion and getting too medical let us say woman are X+X=XX (26+26=42), i.e. they have only XX eggs and men are X+Y=XY (26+26=42), i.e. they have X sperm and Y sperm.
A child's sex is determined by a man's sperm.
If the X sperm mates with the X egg, the child will be a girl.
If the Y sperm mates with the X egg, the child will be a boy.
If a woman's X egg mates with 2 sperms from a man, there may be two conditions, either the egg will divide and twins will be born, or if the egg does not divide a eunuch will be born.
I hope this helped a little.
In this area of life I am a stright woman who has not intestest in other people's sex life, it is their matter of choice. One strange fact is that my daughter is gay, I always knew this about her even before she knew. On my fathers side of the family he has one brother with four children and seven sisters, almost all thier children are gay, sometimes I wonder about the genatic factor of this happening. Also, I think that each person in confronted with a moment, when they are very young when somethink happens to pick which side they want to choose. Great and well informed hub, rate up, your fan and friend, darski
Thank you for your comment, Darlene Sabella.
Truth be told, this topic will always remain as one of nature versus nurture.
While some people may like to argue that homosexuality is a genetical thing, I would like to say that it actually really depends on your ideals and your environment.
Your daughter knew that there were other gay people in your family, so she knew she would be accepted. She lingered on the idea till she saw was fit.
Go back in time before homosexuality existed (Adam and Eve essentially), once they had children, it was 2 sons and one daughter. At the time any way you look at it, it would be incest but considering they were the only 3 people on earth, one brother killed another to be with the sister aka man killed competition to be with a woman.
My point is had the 2 brother been attracted to each other and killed the sister, none of us would be here.
Moving on, when children are innocent, their friendships with the same sex or the opposite sex, mean nothing but friendship. It is only when they are aware of the possibilities that they wonder and consider who are they attracted to.
Alright, i'm not going to unleash my lesbian rage on you, but it seems that you are straight and everyone that has commented is also. I am a lesbian, and a butch lesbian at that. And I understand that as a straight person you don't understand homosexuals. I am gay and I don't really understand the way a straight person thinks...and I really hope that you agree that you can't understand us. You took the medical side, which was interesting, then you took the religious side, which is what you believe. But you do realize in the beginning of your article, you said you are not meaning to ostracise anyone...and yet you delibratly said that homosexuality wasn't natural. Also, your idea that gays act like straights in a relationship was wrong. That's the way it seems from the outside because opposites attract no matter what gender your attracted to. Sometimes the opposite is one more masculine than the other, which is not always the case. You are also wrong about why tom boys and cross dressers behave the way they do. It would be a common guess that girls would act masculine if they had a stonger male influence and the opposite with boys, but again, that is not always the case. And you have to admit that you don't know these things because you are not a homosexual, or a cross dresser, or a tom boy. You can say all you want about the medical and religious side, and because of freedom of speech you can say your opinon on homosexuals, but don't trick people into thinking that all of what you are saying is fact. You don't truly know how a homosexual behaves or why, and you obviously don't believe they were born that way, or that is who they are. All i'm asking is to make it known what is your opinion and don't act as though you know everything about it. I hope some of your commenters read this also.
Dear Salem93,
First of all, let me thank you for stopping by and actually commenting. I had written this hub specially because I wanted TLBG, to come and express themselves in this forum.
It is true that I am straight and it also is true that I perhaps do not understand what TLBG is about. That is what the debate factor is about my dear.
See when you say, you are a 'butch lesbian', I think you mean to say that in a lesbian relationship, you act masculine. May I ask why? Simply for the sake of argument and better understanding.
See fact remains that the world is filled with people of all sexual identities, some reveal themselves, while others prefer to be mum about it.
I want to understand how you think because I and my straight peers do not understand.
I talked about the medical and religious side, only because that is what I know. I wish you could have revealed more about the inner works of TLBG in your comment.
I said, homosexual was not natural because that is what I believe. If you can prove me otherwise, I am gladly willing to listen.
As far as my followers who have commented are concerned, Darlene Sabella's daughter is gay and she knew that before her daughter did.
Salem93, we live in a world, where people are willing to fight first and listen to reason later. I wrote this hub because I was willing to listen. Surely had you written your hub on straight people or gay people, you would have expressed all that you believe and know.
If I gave the impression that I am a 'know it all', well truth be told, no one is. There are many things I know nothing of and if you reflect on the hub, my dear you will find that I am expressing a one sided opinion.
As a 'butch lesbian', what made you realise that this is what your sexual identity would be? Was it your peers? Were you influenced by a male dominated society and felt you would not have the freedom a 'man' does? Or were you surrounded constantly by girly girls and you formed your sexual identity simply because you did not think like them?
Till about the age of 15, I was a tomboy, I dressed like one, I acted like one, I know all the inner workings of a 'man's mind'. Yet at the same time I am attracted to men, which makes me straight.
I do not personally ostracise or treat any one differently based on who they have relations with. I gave a disclaimer in the beginning of the hub, because I knew that what I had to say might step on some toes but in the spirit of debate, I do wish you would come back and explain a little in your defence of the inner workings of TLGB. So that those of us who are straight, can understand on whether people are sexually confused or are their decisions intentional.
Thank you for stopping by and I hope you do more often.
Wow I totally feel like this is such a biased article. I'm all for free speech and all..but seriously we are way past this. This is like if you wrote an article about the earth being flat. It`s 2011. GAY IS TOTALLY NATURAL.
It's not wrong. Why are there still people out there who think it's unnatural. Wake up. Just because you were confused doesn't mean other people are confused. You aren't the center of the world. I know you didn't say that, but by saying every "gay situation" in the world is product of gender misidentification or whatever other ridiculous reasoning in the article is completely ignorant.
And ahhh, the stupid adam and eve would of never had us if they were gay. WHAT? that only applies to religious people. I'm sorry I do not believe two random humans just appeared on the earth, and populated the entire world. 6000 years ago. Are you kidding me?
Using Adam and Eve argument against gay people is like saying that because Adam and Eve didn't give birth to black people, asian people, handicapable people and people with mental disabilities should not exist because they are wrong as well.
In no way am I trying to make you feel like an idiot, I'm just trying to open peoples eyes...
And yes i understand the research you are giving and how it contributes to the way a person thinks. But even if there is a way to change the WAY YOU WERE BORN..do you actually think people would do it.
NO I would never, I'm glad I can into a time where I can witness a change in social evolution where all I have to do is just BE ME.
ITS 2011 OMFG like seriously
and I haven't even mentioned the fact that there are COMPLETELY "heterolooking" people out there.
Try telling Neil Patrick Harris he's been confused his whole life.
Or tell Lady Gaga that her gay rights movement is completely useless and wrong.
p.s. you're going to look at this article in a couple years and go wtf was i thinking
Dear lookatmenow,
Thank you for your comment.
Perhaps this hub appeared to be biased bu then again it has been written by one person, has it not?
I did not say any thing vile about TLBG, I simply typed down my side of the argument.
My dear, perhaps if you were to realise my intention behind writing this article, you would know that sexual confusion is a valid problem now aday and this is why I wrote this so that people can find themselves who ever they are.
Peace and blessings.
alright understandable i guess...this is a free world and everyone has the right to their view
i just simply don't think people these days are not so much confused, just scared of what people might think of them
that may not be you at all, im speaking from my own experience of finally coming out and meeting other people and their stories
May I ask you something? Are you a practicing Moslem? I ask this because many of my friends are Moslem and, if I may over-generalize, there tends to be a distinct prejudice against homosexuals in Moslem society and an almost "denial" that homosexuality is part of, well, being human.
Many of your comments, observations, arguments are similar to those put forth by my Moslem friends. That being said, my question as to your religion is not founded in some underlying bigotry, etc. While raised a Christian, my views have tended to evolve over time with age and life experience - outside of the tenants of my faith. Many of my friends, in fact my oldest and first childhood friend ended up being gay. We lived in the same neighborhood, our parents were from similar social/economic backgrounds, etc. As an adult, he has confided in me that he had had, for as long as he could remember, an attraction to other males. I for one never realized this until he came "out" in college.
I suppose no one knows for certain, though we may speculate, if homosexuality is something you are born with, something you develop, or a combination of the two or even more "unknown" factors. I believe perhaps the most open way to ponder the question is by not superimposing some moral judgement upon it based largely on religious beliefs. If it is indeed not a biological factor, then perhaps it is just a preference. If not a preference, then perhaps it is a mental condition though Western medicine has pretty much dismissed this. Studies on human sexuality conducted in the 40's, 50's, and 60's point to sexuality being more of a sliding scale than an absolute line in the sand. In other words, we are all, to one degree or another, gay or straight.
In summary, I would like to say that, while clearly biased, your writing is informative, thought-provoking, and kind.
Dear lookatmenow,
Thank you for your comment and realising my intention behind this hub.
wow this is a PERFECT example of how powerful religion is...not that thats a bad thing, belief is extremely powerful...but religion sometimes blinds people from that power
look at the core of all religions, its the same thing...just random people over time have given their own perspectives of whatever was happening at the time and their own conclusions to how the religion should be followed because whenever that happens, its because the religion didn't keep up with the actual society of that time. IN fact to THIS DAY, religions are still discussing whats valid and whats not because it's getting to the point now where some things in books like the Bible are COMPLETELY RIDIC. For example killing a pregnant woman out of marriage? WHAT? I bet many christians didn't know that is in the Bible. And there's hoards more. I've read it. It's clearly a collection of random perspectives of a time we DON'T EVEN LIVE IN ANYMORE. I do believe there is truth at the core of all the holy books. But the explanations of it are outdated. There's so much pick and choose with some religions to what should be officially believed that its like everyone you ask will have something different than the last person you asked.
But by having that belief that you have grown up with. The belief of however you feel your God, or talk to him, is something that a LOT of people do not have these days. I encourage you to continue to love God, just don't lost along the way with what you think you should be believing, according to whatever some book or person may say. It's your belief!
Dear DTR0005,
Thank you for stopping by and commenting.
Indeed, Alhamdullah (Arabic word for 'Thanks to Allah'), I am a practicing Muslim.
You are correct when you talk about the prejudice against LGBT in Islam but then again my dear friend, every religion from what I can tell, promotes heterosexuality and the institution of a heterosexual marriage, abstinence until marriage, avoidance of abortions. In short according to any religion the definition of intercourse is, "an act performed after marriage between a husband and wife for the purpose of reproduction and maintenance of love between each other"
Strictly in terms of any religion, lgbt is not acceptable. However, society is not always governed by religion. More often than not, society is governed by their own set of predominant cultures.
See fact remains, that I choose to be a productive member of society interested in educating people in a way that may be as unoffensive as possible.
When you read my hub, you observed and came across everything that my religion, my beliefs and my culture has taught me. I am straight and my attraction to men is natural and not a result of someone telling that to me.
See Pakistan is a country which consists of all kinds of people. Unfortunately the media chooses to highlight only the intolerant extremist's version. The rest of us are normal peace loving people who believe that only when we listen to one another, can we understand each others difference.
By religion and by belief I do not support LGBT, however, at the same time, I have never said anything vile about them either.
My purpose of this hub was that children and the new generation of today is more influenced by the media and culture than anything else.
Let me give you a small example. One of my colleagues who loves body building is straight, one day another of my colleague flexed his muscles to show how well he is doing at his work out and then all of a sudden the ladies started laughing and calling my colleagues 'gay'. Which left them embarrassed for no reason.
In my university, a group of straight girls used to stay aloof and not hang out with the boys, because their brought up or culture told them so. All of the boys spread the rumours of those two best friends as being lesbians, which left them in tears.
When I write my hubs, I write only about the society I am aware of. I feel that when a particular group of straight people blame other straight people for being LGBT, only when they are best friends, this is unfair.
This leads to my topic of sexual confusion. In Pakistan, if a guy wears a pink shirt, every one starts calling him gay, so he never wears that shirt again. What I am trying to say, is that sexuality shouldn't be stereotyped like that.
Homosexual people feel like they are the ones targeted a lot but fact remains that we straight people have been given a million boundaries and codes for acting so that people can know for sure we are straight.
I remember in school in the fifth grade a group of 5 girls would always hold hands wherever they went, so every one started bullying them and calling them lesbians. In Pakistan guys avoid walking too close to one another or sharing hugs etc just so that no one can confuse them to be gay.
Sexual confusion is spread amongst the people who create the rumour mill, not the people who observe what ever practices they observe.
Dear lookatmenow,
The Holy book of a Religion, can be compared with your favourite Jane Austen or which ever author you like, novel.
Over time, the culture as dictated in the book does not exist, however, yet you enjoy reading these old novels.
My dear, There were four major books,
1. Zabur (The book of Psalms) sent on David
(Hazrat Daud A.S)
2. Torah the book sent on Moses (Hazrat Mosa A.S)
3. Injil (Bible) the book sent on Jesus
(Hazrat Issa A.S) and
4. Quran the book sent on Muhammad (Salalah ho alaihe
wasalam)
There is also a book called Suhuf sent on Abraham (Hazrat Ibrahim A.S)
Each of these religions came in a time of great corruption and each of them foretold of the other.
Some would argue why Islam was sent as a last religion and why God created these 4 religions in the first place? The answer is same, when you are born, we do not put you directly in high school do we?
We teach you slowly and gradually, first alphabets and numbers, then language and religion, then the simple subjects and lastly the advanced courses.
Each religion, foretold of the next one. The reason for this was that the 3 Holy Books were corrupted, so Allah (God) created Quran and took it upon Himself to protect the word. There are countless people called Hafiz, who know the Quran by heart. You can buy a Quran in the north pole and buy one in the south pole and it will be 100% similar.
Yet the same can not be said for any of the other books.
My dear, religion was created to guide people, people were not created to guide religion.
You can not alter religion to suit to your needs. Religion is there, the choice to follow it or to not follow is yours.
You think it is extremism to ostracise illicit children or for men and women to have premarital but don't you see, it is due to premarital sex or adultery that there are so many torn families and broken hearted children.
If any one is to call a religious person biased, so a non religious person is just as much biased. The reason being both of them have their own beliefs and definitions of right or wrong.
Many religious people do non-religious things and many non-religious people do wonderful things.
Humans are like fingers on a hand, none are alike but each have their own importance.
What a controversial, yet engaging article. The debate over why such things occur has always intrigued me. I, being the realistic that I am, want to understand it. Even in nature homosexuality is prevalent. However, in nature it is derived from pleasure-- but as humans, we make it emotional. I believe there is psychological background to all things. Just as you said "our children are a product of our society". I think sexuality is typically derived from external forces. Things that happen to you as a child implicate how you decide what your likes and dislikes are in the present. Strange comparison but I hate bananas. I hate them because when I was a child I had a bad experience with them. If you had a positive sexual experience (or negative for that matter) with someone of the opposite sex, it still is all you know. It is what made you the way you are today. Very interesting! Voted up lovely.
I have to comment. You are clearly a very well-informed and erudite young woman. And again, my comment or question as to you being Moslem was not a perjorative or mocking one - the religion of an individual is simply not important to me personally. Where I live there are many Jews, Moslems, Christians, and agnostics/atheists. My God, at least the God I grew up with, didn't discriminate. American is a country of great dichotomies and religion is not a "favorite subject" around the dinner table. I think cultures where there are extremes of anything - particularly religion - are cultures that do their best to subjugate their fellow man. God's name and "will" have been used for millenia to reign death and destruction on other human beings. Honestly, in most educated circles, someone's sexuality, at least in the US, is about as relevant as someone's hair color. And most Christians including Catholics (American Catholics) pay little if any attention to a person's sexuality. And yes, there are many fundamentalist Christians who take the Bible as the literal word of God, but for the most part that too has been marginalized based on socio-economic grounds. And they believe any "non-Christian" is going to hell. I do not. So this may come down to whether morality springs from God or whether morality is its own separate entity wholly independent of God. I talked to a scientist once who was an admitted atheist. She asked me this simple question: If I do good for my fellow man without the direction of a God, without a heavenly reward, and without fear of God's wrath for not doing good, then who is the greater alturist, me or the religious man? That is not a direct quote, but read it over and think about it. There is some wisdom contained therin...
Thank you LSpel for stopping by, commenting and voting up.
See I like to believe that I am more than an observer on Earth. By nature I am a thinker, I think a lot. That does not mean I day dream, it simply means that I analyse things from all angles, however, remaining of course well with in the boundaries of what my belief has set for me.
DTR0005, thank you for your observation and comment.
Usually on a dinner table, I would never bring religion, politics or sexuality because it would turn into somewhat of a war zone because some people may not be as patient or willing to listen as I quite often am.
After 9/11, any Non-Muslim would talk to me in bad taste, however, I do not take it to heart because it is simple innocence or rather ignorance on their part.
Mostly, they are not responsible because I believe that perhaps stereotyping is somewhat dominant and prevalent in human nature.
See when you will talk to a person who is religious on the outside, you will find them to only speak in extremes. You will never find them to be tolerant of anything.
I thank Allah, that He has made me to be tolerant enough to understand that it is this intolerance that is indeed the root of all evil.
Please do not confuse what I say next as preaching because God knows I am neither trained nor knowledgeable enough to preach, yet, you will find that the soul of Islam, the spirit of it consists of influencing some one in such a way that they are inspired to convert or be more like you.
If any one enforces any thing up on you, you will perhaps pretend to be religious but behind their back you will curse them.
Religion is in your heart or your soul, by pretending or pleasing a few foolish people, neither they nor you benefit.
Even if one is not religious and yet you do a good deed, it is perhaps better than a religious person who does no good deed at all.
The problem is that people have made religion a joke, a tiresome tool, when fact remains that religion is beautiful it is the muse of the soul, the inspiration of an artist, the voice of the Lord.
Only if one feels such inner satisfaction, then I believe they are religious, otherwise, it is a practice wasted.
Pretending to pray to please others nothing. Your goal must be to praise your soul because believe it or not my friend, some where some thing blessed you with life, praise your life and life in general and you will be at peace with your self. :)
Besides only Allah (God), as I believe know whose place is where in the universe.
If you are not religious, and believe in nothing, still do a good deed and see how your soul feels at peace.
It's sad, but I suppose "natural" that non-Muslims gave you a hard way to go after 9-11. But that is about as ignorant as a Moslem bringing up the Crusades to a Christian - which has happened to me more than once. That same week of 9-11, I can distinctly remember a Moslem Arab woman who had, up to that date, worn very conservative clothing in accordance with her religion. At a school meeting later that same week, she showed up with her daughter dressed in more western clothing. About 15 or 20 American parents and the school principal including myself and my wife approached her and said, "Listen, America is all about being who you are - be yourself, wear what you want - we don't blame you for what happened and no one will act out of malice towards you..." And no one ever did. That next week at her dauther's basketball game, I sat next to her in the bleachers and talked, as we had before, as if nothing had ever happened. She was dressed in her religious clothing. The 9-11 issue, sadly, is still a very fresh wound in the US. And it's a wound that will not heal because it is continually being re-opened - by both radical Islam and continued terrorism and by American aggression in Moslem lands. I would suspect that foreign media, particularly in the Mideast, paint the US as a Moslem-hating, gunslinging western movie. And there are certain factions, albeit fairly weak factions, that are that way. But the vast majority of Americans hold no real animosity against Islam because of 9-11. With the media, it is only the insane fringe that become newsworthy. The mideast, for the most part in American media, is given very little attention unless it involves violence against Americans or terrorism. And that should likely change if we are to ever live in peace. The vast majority of us, again, live peacefully within a plethora of cultures and religions. Where I live houses the second largest Somali population in the US.
I would ask the you write some Hubs about your country and culture. I guarantee you they will be read... please consider it.
Dear DTR0005,
Thank you so much for leaving such a positive comment.
Of course I am well aware that the media hardly reflects what real people are like.
I will definitely write something about the culture of Pakistan added you might have to take it with a pinch of salt. I will try to focus on the positives when I feel inspired I will definitely look in to it. :)
Sexual confusion is a product of our societies intolerance. This is the key idea that I would like to focus on here for my comments to you. I’d like to provide you with an objective objection – another side to the story if you will. A lot of what you have written here is blatantly wrong.
The perception that all LGBT relationships will mirror that of a heterosexual relationship is wrong. If you knew any LGBT couples, you would see that like heterosexual relationships, LGBT couples come in all different shapes and sizes. Relationships are a basic biological drive for all humans, regardless of who you are attracted to. To over generalize and stereotype all LGBT individuals into your fictitious category is exactly fair, and frankly a little offensive. I know plenty of heterosexual couples in which the male has long hair, or likes getting highlights in his hair; how about those men that like to tan or even get their nails done. Are you going to argue that those men are trying to be like their female partners? No, because that is simply not the case. How about heterosexual women who have short hair, or who prefer to wear jeans and sneakers – are they trying to act masculine? Sexuality is innate, and every human is entitled to find their own individuality. Trying to argue that LGBT couples are trying to mimic heterosexuals is wrong – a relationship is a relationship.
Biologically transgender does not exist. There is no such thing. A person born with both sex organs is a hermaphrodite – it is a medically recognized condition and it is because they have an extra X or Y chromosome. This condition does not mean that the individual is transgender – not in any way shape or form. Typically someone born with both sex organs will develop into the dominant features of the their biology, their hormones. Thus, an XXY individual may be dominantly male or dominantly female, but it is their decision to make. Insinuating that they will be transgendered is, well, wrong. An Eunuch, as you say, is typically a religious term – a term for a castrated man. I don’t believe that someone born with an extra chromosome is automatically labeled a castrated man in today’s society– but that’s just me.
Now, bisexual people… Your rationale for bisexual individuals actually made me laugh out loud it is so outrageous. Many bisexual individuals are IN stable, committed relationships – the term bisexual does not imply that an individual is incapable of having a relationship with a single individual – or even that they commonly switch back and forth unable to make up their minds. Bisexual, as a label, means that an individual is sexually attracted to both males and females. Also, your idea that all bisexuals commonly target heterosexual individuals so that they can somehow convert their sexuality – really?! I don’t know about you, but I don’t know anyone who is capable of changing someone’s biological drive for males or females – that would be a super power.
Artificially transgender – also not a real term. A transgendered individual is essentially one who psychologically feels that their gender identity is wrong. Sometimes you will hear something like “I was born in the wrong body.” It is an innate biological sense of being – and calling someone who is transgendered “artificial” is insinuating that they are less than human. Also, someone who goes so far as to have their gender identity reassigned with surgery is known as a transsexual.
You rationale for tomboys versus cross dressers is also grossly over generalized and I’m not going to pick that apart. I am only going to say that sexual identity is biological – in almost all cases it is not a choice. And a child who likes to dress up, or who has predominantly male or female friends, is NOT going to all of a sudden change their physiology and decide they are homosexual. That doesn’t happen, and it never will. This is a stereotype that homophobic individuals have created over the years to continue the intolerance for the LGBT community.
Religion… Your religious beliefs are you own. Everyone is entitled to their own religious beliefs. Watch a wonderful documentary called “For The Bible Tells Me So” if you would like to better understand my beliefs about the relationship between religion and sexual identity. Also, your belief that heterosexuality is a purpose for marriage is a very common religious one. But I will say that homosexuals have the exact same desire for marriage as heterosexuals.
Heterosexuality as being medically proven isn’t a substantial argument, in my opinion. How is it that you can argue biology in your previous statements and then say something like “if homosexuality was okay then why is it that gay men and lesbian women resort to having intercourse in the same manner as heterosexual couples.” BIOLOGICALLY the human body was designed to enjoy sexual intercourse. And it shouldn’t be any surprise that the sexual organs are what make sex feel so good. No matter whom you are having it with and it will always feel good. LGBT individuals aren’t “resorting to having intercourse in the same manner”… it is biologically designed that way. Finally, you should know that AIDS is passing more prevalently in the heterosexual community than it is in the homosexual one. You should check the facts before arguing that one.
The biggest flaw of our society is intolerance. It is an age old problem – and no matter whom is getting the blunt of the intolerance, it is never right. Intolerance is made up of ignorance and fear. Just as you may have been ostracized for being Muslim, the LGBT community is ostracized for being who they are. It isn’t right. Judging someone for being human and expressing who they are isn’t right and shouldn’t ever be accepted in our society. Any LGBT individual is just that, and individual – a human being. We are the same as every other individual in this world, and anyone who believes different is simply ignorant. Homosexuality is NOT a human fault – it is a human characteristic.
If you’ve made it through this argument, thank you for hearing another side of story and I hope I’ve opened your eyes a little wider.
Dear Briana Faye,
Thank you for your input, thank you for being so compassionate about the subject.
Your first statement, "Sexual confusion is a product of our societies intolerance." is what I would like to elaborate on.
My dear, if you know what you want, there is no confusion but if you do not and you turn to your society, you will most likely opt for whatever the majority stands for because believe it or not, human beings do belong to a pack mentality.
If you did not know if you liked men or women, then you look at your society, you will automatically be influenced by whatever sexuality is predominant.
If one were to point out characteristics of a homosexual couple, you call it stereotyping, yet this very thing is done every day for heterosexual couples. As far as meterosexual men are concerned, if they did not have an inflated ego and be womanizers, they probably would be heterosexual.
Besides, grooming oneself, hardly proves your sexuality.
My dear, I suggest you pick up a biology book to find out that biologically transgender does in fact exist. The man in question with both sex organs, may look more feminine or more masculine depending on their chromosome sequence.
Sourced from Wikipedia: The most common group that actually embraces the term "eunuch" are the contemporary voluntary eunuchs, who number 7,000 to 10,000 in North America, with many more around the world.[59][60][61]
Many of these are males who have a Male-to-Eunuch Gender Dysphoria. While they are born with male genitalia, their brain tells them that they are not male, but neither are they female. They seek castration to align their bodies with their brain sex. A second large group of the contemporary eunuchs have a Body Integrity Identity Disorder. This occurs when the brain does not accept the presence of some specific body part.
For you to claim that it is not a disorder, I suggest you argue to those who coined these terms in the first place.
Homosexuality is a direct result of Kings getting men castrated for purposes of slavery.
You admit that the body needs sex.
These castrated men, made due with what they had and thus stands modern day homosexuality that you stand for. Which consequently is one of the biggest factors behind the spread of aids.
You argue about my knowledge. My dear, are you aware how AIDS, spreads to heterosexuals? Thanks to bisexuals or secret homosexuals.
The history of AIDS is that this disease existed in apes and monkeys. Some frustrated man, had sex with a primate. Probably got married or enjoyed same sex relations. Thus modern day AIDs.
Homosexuality started first by aids then by blood transfusions.
Admit it that free inconsequential sex with any one and everyone... The society it self is the result for every problem it faces.
My dear, if you would have read closer, you would know that my purpose is a world where children are not influenced into doing. However society today has more influence than ever.
It is very clear that your cultural experiences have led you believe a lot of thing about the LGBT community that simply aren't true. You believe what you believe because you are the product of intolerance. When in fact, if you actually experienced the LGBT community you would know the differences you point out are not all that different after all. This is one of the biggest hurtles with which the community faces.
With regards to stereotypes - I was pointing out just that, that all people are placed into stereotypes and it isn't fair for one community to be ostracized because of them. You claimed that homosexuals have a problem with their own identity, and yet you admit that they are stereotyped into that category - thus, the only ones with the actual identity problems are those that have stereotyped the community.
What I was arguing with regards to transgendered individuals, was that you were wrong in your context. Take the man with both sex organs that you are referencing, he has a MEDICAL CONDITION. He is a hermaphrodite. Being born with both sex organs does not automatically mean that this person will identify as a transgendered individual. I repeat, this condition does not mean that he will be a transgendered man. A medical disorder is completely separate from being transgendered.
I know that Eunuchs exist, I acknowledged that they do, and I also stated that this is predominantly a religious term. If you actually knew the LGBT community, you would know that a transgendered individual would never call themselves a Eunuch. Now, I do not know the fraction of a percentage of Eunuch community that exists - and perhaps these individuals do have sexual confusion. However, I suggest you do not lump transgendered individuals into the same category as Eunuchs. They are different. And a Eunuch having Body Integrity Identity Disorder is a completely different topic in and of itself. You can not argue that homosexuality is the direct result of Kings castrating men, nor can you argue that these castrated men had anything to do with "the modern day homosexuality with which I stand for." These beliefs you carry are a product of your culture. However, you should notice, there is absolutely no scientific proof that they are even related, let alone a direct result of one another.
Finally, I read your article very closely - and a world where children are not influenced into doing was not your purpose in this article. And frankly, a world in which children are not influenced will never happen - children are observers - they learn by observing, but their sexual identity is not a construct that can be determined by observing.
You missed the purpose of my response. Now back to my very first statement. Sexual confusion is a product of our societies intolerance. Whether you choose to believe it or not, most homosexual individuals are born that way. They know from a VERY young age that they are different. Many times their community frowns upon homosexuality. Thus, they are afraid, afraid of not being accepted because of their own communities intolerance. But you know, that person has always been gay, and whether they are brave enough to acknowledge it is another story. That right there, that period in which someone is unable to acknowledge themselves is what you should call confusion.
Now here is the big point to pay attention to. A lesbian knows who she is, she is not confused. A gay man knows who he is, he is not confused. A transgendered individuals knows who they are, and a bisexual individuals know who they are. The only ones who think they are sexually confused are those onlookers like yourself. My point, was to show you that writing an article on an entire population that you think is confused, doesn't work.
How did you know you were heterosexual? You just did right? Everything inside you was telling you that you were attracted to men. That same feeling, that same drive that you feel from as young as you can remember is present in every human being - and in the case of LGBT individuals that drive is for the same sex.
I don't expect you to drop everything you believe in and change gears. That doesn't happen in the real world. What I do hope to do, is to show you that whether you choose to accept the LGBT community or not, you need to respect it. I am not threatened by your differences, and I would not ostracize you for them. So why then, are so many people threatened by the LGBT community?
Dear Briana Faye,
I am not hear to preach my level of what I believe is right. I am here to discuss my side of the story.
How can you blame me for being one sided when in fact this article, is just that... One sided. My version.
I (Heterosexuals) do not ostracise them, why do homosexuals seek our approval when they know that we do not understand?
In the attempt to raise awareness for homosexuality, all most do is publicise it, invite more in. Like some kind of a cult following.
You want to be gay, fine go ahead but do not expect us to understand. Do not invite us in. Do not implant your stereotypes in our heads.
I love it how people when stuck in any predicament just leave it to, "there is no scientific proof".
Honestly, if Science were to prove homosexuality wrong, would you admit it? No, you would protest it, find another reason.
Homosexuals do what they believe is right, no form of explanation or proof will change their minds.
Be homosexual if you are but do not foll a man or a woman into marriage while you continue your secret life. Be honest to yourself and others.
Do not spread your cause in our heads. What you do in your beds is your business, why advertise it?
Besides according to you whoever is gay knows it, so why all the melodrama?
No one publicises or exploits heterosexuals because they stay away from the topics of sex. Yet you choose to specify. You choose to influence children.
Young children who at times fear the friendships of same sex best friends, worried that the other might get the wrong perception out of it.
Stop focusing lives on "who sleeps with whom" and start focusing on the countless other battles.
P.S. My hub was supposed to be meant for the sexual confusion that is dominant in young children and teens. College is a place to educate yourself, not to have sex with the same sex.
this is the most offensive article I have ever seen...how can you still believe it is a choice? The only way people can come to the conclusion that it is a choice is if THEY have made the choice themselves be "be straight" and ignore their "unnatural feelings"...
There was no time before homosexuality existed...it has always existed....just like different races and people with different hair color, or even "mental disorders" (Im sorry i think all kids with ADD are extremely gifted and people are trying to fit circles into squares with them)
seriously woman, there is nothing wrong with liking other women...I'm guessing you are from a middle eastern religion..and I know the discrimination, bigotry and ignorance some of those religions have on this subject...but you can defeat that. You can be the guiding light for so many other women in the closet because of their religion or the way they have been brought up.
I dont understand how people who aren't even gay, are making these crazy conclusions, and they arent even gay...Now if an actually gay person was to come to these conclusions, then I would listen...but this woman? you need to come out of the closet...seriously...
100 percent of gay people...who ARE ACTUALLY GAY..and have STRUGGLED with accepting the way they are because of IGNORANT PEOPLE LIKE YOU!...and have been in the closet for so long...KNOOW that it is the way they have been...its not a choice AT all...trust me..if i could like guys, I WOULD HAVE CHANGED IN A SECOND...but I have always known that I have liekd girls and I knew that I was different from other girls..SIMPLE AS THAT..theres no inbetween
I know that in a couple of decades, you will look at this article and be like WTF was i thinking...
COME OUT COME OUT COME OUT!
Wow, thank you for your comment. Please observe that in your comment you just mentioned:
QUOTE
THEY have made the choice themselves be "be straight" and ignore their "unnatural feelings"
UNQUOTE
There is hardly any thing left for me to say here.
Children choose the paths before them. Stop enforcing your thought on others.
If two straight people of the same sex are best friends, they have to be embarassed because they might at some point be called gay.
You appear to run a propaganda while I just speak of the truth that lies before me.
"If two straight people of the same sex are best friends, they have to be embarassed because they might at some point be called gay."
LOL! are you 5?
and whatever you said makes no sense to what i just said...i cannot believe people like you exist still...im glad you the first and only so far (thank you internet) and hopefully the last..because i have met MANY people in my life..MANY people...and have never come across someone like you....a week ago something terrible happened and i felt worst than i have ever felt...and BOOM i see you article...makes sense to me! i will never come down to this level again to encounter people like you...
and im glad you have very little views for your follewers here on hubpages
GOOD BYE!
My dear wow,
You appear to not understand what I am talking about.
What I say, what I write, are the product of my belief and society.
To you the statement that sounds foolish, may be wisdom in my country.
What you do in you life is your business but to tell people it is okay, I am sorry neither you nor I, no one has that right.
My dear, you attack me as if I came and attacked you.
Truth remains that you chose to read this hub and misinterpret it. I have not acted vile any where yet you choose to.
My daughter is a beautiful 18 year old. she has had a handful of boyfriends and one long term 2 year relationship with a guy. She broke up with the guy because she is getting ready to go off to college and he was overbearing and smothering her. She has always had a lot of friends and very social. Recently, in the last 6 months she and her close friend have grown very emotionally attached. I felt the relationship was getting more emotional and possibly physical and I asked her out right. She adamantly denied it and was even disgusted that I would think such a thing. A few months ago I found very detailed texts of their feeling for each other. I approached her with the information and she was so horrified that I found out- claiming its nothing I am not gay. My biggest concern is she is so embarrassed about anyone knowing. She told me to leave her alone and let her figure it out. I have left her but I see she is really not her bubbly easy going self anymore. After going through our family phone plan I noticed literally 100s of texts and phone call through out the day almost daily to her friend. I feel that as their relationship is getting more intense she is slipping into a dark hole. I feel like the experimenting with her sexuality is causing her to be ashamed of herself. I am conflicted with the argument of letting the kids experiment to find themselves- the argument that curious kids who want to experiment with drugs may actually become addicted because if feels good. As my daughter says my relationship with "friend" makes me feel good right now- but it is not apparent she looks ashamed and depressed at times. I told her I want her to take a break from relationship and take time to love and cherish herself to be true to herself and a few months away from the "drug" will clear her head and she can make a choice- fully embrace who she is lesbian/bi or heterosexual. I assured her I will love her know matter what lifestyle she chooses but she has to embrace her lifestyle too without being ashamed and hiding. I dont remember ever feeling confused, is her confusion because she is lesbian and just scared she wont be accepted or is she heterosexual leaning on a friend that does not burden her with drama of a boyfriend. I want feedback from anyone that has gone through this parent or teenager.. I just want to see her light up again rather than be burdened.
mom of 5,
I am so glad you stopped by and saw my article for what it is, awareness.
Truth be told, this confusion has her worried.
From what you have written, I think she has more drama in her life now than she did before as a heterosexual with her bf.
These decisions of sexuality depend on the individual and their environment but truth be told, it is quite possible that she is emotionally dependent on this 'friend' and that this 'friend' is emotionally blackmailing her into remaining into the relationship.
She must ask herself, if she indeed is willing to spend her life happily with this 'friend'. If yes, then so be it but if no, then she should stop poisoning herself.
I hope your daughter can find a way out of her confusion.
In my 20s I had one short-lasting homosexual relationship which showed me that I was not gay because I knew I was attracted much more to real women than the cross-dressing man I had been with. I therefore say that I am heterosexual but have had gay or bisexual experience. I also have a lot of gay, lesbian and bisexual friends as well as heterosexuals.
As proof that homosexuality is natural I need look no further than the natural world where it goes on frequently between animals of the same sex and not for the want of a partner of the opposite sex. I was rearing Monarch butterflies a couple of years back and noticed that some of the adult males that stayed in this are chose to attempt to mate with newly emerged other males instead of looking for females. I refer you to this article in Wikipedia about homosexuality in the natural world: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual_behavior_i
Thank you for stopping by Bard of Ely.
Let me start by saying that I am a heterosexual. I have some friends that are homosexual. I truly undertsand why you have the opinion you do, because it is primarily based upon religious views, what for the past 5000 years has tainted medical views as well.
You do agree that some people are not born the same. Your example of the Eunuchs of course. Now, would you say these eunuchs are unnaturally and not a product of your and any other god? Thus your predetermined deviant behaviour could also be a product of this. I truly believe that nobody has a choice to whom they are attracted too.
Most homosexuals are scutinized, teased and some even verbally and physically attacked in society. You think they would go through all that just because they are just meerly confused? It is a lot easier to comply with society, and by doing so. Girls are more likely to become gay because they hang around with boys and vice versa for boys. I am sorry a young boys and girls that hangs around with their opposite are more likely to be sexually interested in each other. I'll show you mine if you show me yours.
And your idea of homosexuals take the heterosexual roles must be based on television? Most homosexuals I know do not fall into the one of us has to be the man, the other the woman scenarios. Some do, but isn't that just being forced upon them by society.
Now, I am not religious but I am pretty sure Adam and Eve had more than 3 children? The name Seth comes to mind but I am sure they had several children.
All in all it was a very well written article, and a good read (mostly fiction of course).
Thank you for stopping by, Stigma31.
A very well written article. Its both useful and educational. But your assertions about sexual orientation and specially about bisexuals trying to convert heterosexuals into bi- or homosexuals fails to convince me and are not supported by recent researches and studies in the field.
Thank you for your comment, TicksPofessional.
Hello there! I am actually having some sort of an "ambivalent" feeling about this article. I really do not know whether to agree or to disagree with you guys because, I, too is also confused. To be honest, I've been battling with homosexuality since I was 12 and up to the present (which I hope would end soon). Well, at first, I did believed that maybe this is who I really am..that I was born to be like this..but then, as I have come to based it on scriptures, I'd like to believe that I was wrong. It is true that God made man and woman in the garden of eve and that he never made Adam and Steve and so on and so forth..and it is I believe unacceptable to God. Just that, in my case, I really tend to fall in love with the same sex more easily than the opposite. I don't know..maybe it's just my mind that likes to play with me. lol :P
diogenes 17 months ago
I am afraid my attitude to homosexuality is a sort of "passive disgust." I try to avoid their lives dramatised on TV (Eastenders Soap UK); I published one hub article on it and received some vitriol from Gays.
You hub seems excellent, a lot of it (chromosomes, etc) went over my head...I will return to it when I have some time...Bob